where does the pee come out of this thing
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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