Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
