I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
