Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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