My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
