I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i wish my penis had a tongue
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
