I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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