Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
