his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
