does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She needs sedatives and a leash
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
