I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
True but thats because hes a fetus.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
