When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she pinky promised me she was 18
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
