and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
