I cannot find my penis.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
