I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
