That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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