Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
