Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
