Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
