Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
