Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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