I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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