I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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