i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
