If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
