rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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