Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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