for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize