weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
