new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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