I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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