It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
