My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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