Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
