omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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