He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
