Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
