we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
