I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
