Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
