worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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