I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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