How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She's not a foreskin expert like you
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
