The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
