Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
