So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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