Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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