drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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