I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
