Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
