I looked at my own cervix.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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