I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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