She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
