Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
