you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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