You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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