i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
