At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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