How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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