Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
