But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
