Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
