Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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