my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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